Archive for the ‘Arkansas Unpolitics’ Category

Amnesia
April 14, 2009

I need to vent these three things:

1. My patchouli soap makes me smell like bootie. It seemed innocuous in the packaging but every morning I wander around hoping no one tries to determine the exact location of that faintly “unwashed” smell. And, I’m too cheap to throw it out.

2. At some point I accidently forgot that Every Single Guy (double meaning there) I know is a musician. Or refers to themselves as one, making the Performing Arts the single most over represented, and under appreciated career choice in this great state. Please, for the love of all that is decent and acceptable, stop pretending that your pipe dreams of being a rock star are in any way achievable (or even desired by anyone who has heard you play or sing anything, ever. ) and get a real job.

3. Someone that I work with appears to have amnesia, as well as the Master Key to the school house that the entire staff has been searching for, for roughly seven months. This someone also seems to forget that all of the Good Art Supplies went missing before I showed up to teach, and wants me to produce supplies that haven’t been in the Art Room for over three years. It amazes me on a daily basis, but today. Today it just irritated me. 

Now I tell you the reason for my venting: I set an alarm clock ambush for myself this morning, and then promptly forgot about it. That is until I had submarines, and Harry Potter and Johnnie Cochran all comin’ at me from different angles, and I spontaneously combusted in a nervous sweat all over my bedroom. It’s enough to make you cry. I think I did.

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Does your family define you???
May 29, 2008

So it would seem that I am making a giant leap from elementary Art to High school and Junior High Art in a matter of months. Never fear, I will still be rural, but this time I won’t have cell reception…and there will be a killer mountain view. Ironically, I got a job without an interview. The principal e-mailed me and said, “You want the job?” I said, “Uh…yeah.” So then he said, “Okay I’ll let the boss man know the position is filled.”

A little Joy a little Oy
May 21, 2008

My frosted mini wheats came with an adventure spoon today. What the hell is an adeventure spoon you may ask? It is, apparently, a spoon so lacking in functionality that it is an adventure to use it. Nevertheless, in all fairness it does light up. Sort of. Well, its not quite as bright as the power button on my computer, but you can almost tell that it has a light in it. I’m just excited that we are apparently making a return to actual prizes in cereal boxes. i can endure all the spoons of gay adventure I have to as a foreshadow of even more adventurous prizes to come!

I’m still really bitter about the Presidental election. I have nothing positive to say except that I don’t hate John Mccann. I’m not excited about him either, or anything-but c’mon at least he’s not Obama. I personally am not quite ready for a black muslim president. I mean, maybe a black jew, or a Indian methodist-but not some dood who still things we owe him something. Who is “we” you might ask? Hell if I know, I’m jewish and Native American, you DO owe me something. You just can’t tell by looking at me-so I suppose he and his people are more worthy-being as they can’t hide their past with their skin color. Next, we also have the option of voting for an ugly white bitch. Woah, I’m a teacher. i get enough of those everyday to fill my quota, thank you. Please, give me something more original. I suppose that both of the Democratic candidates are more exciting than the measley one Republican one, and this in my concern. We may all hate Obama, and Hillary but they elict more passion than Mccann, and that my friends is how you get voters. They may hate you-but they know you are there…